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a word on a whim

anything but predictable #momlife

Tag: Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month

October 14, 2019October 14, 2019

Here We Go Again

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September 30, 2019

Moving Forward

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October 19, 2016July 23, 2019

Not Just a Month

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when you go to the fancy doctor, they put stars on the ceiling of the ultrasound room. maybe they know their patients need something to look at aside from the screen. because that screen doesn’t always show wiggly babies and healthy heartbeats. sometimes it shows an empty uterus. or a baby that isn’t growing right. or nothing at all. + 4 months ago, a similar screen showed us my empty womb. 2 weeks ago, this very screen showed us a beautiful yolk sac looking exactly as it should. today, however, the heartbeat we were told would be “easy to find” was absent. the baby that had been growing perfectly 2 weeks ago was barely visible. after a 30 minute vaginal ultrasound (yes, 30 minutes... would not recommend a wand down there that long), there was no point to continue looking for things that just weren’t there. + we did some bloodwork today, will do some more in a few days, and have another ultrasound next week. but it doesn’t look good. the doctor told us to be realistic, and balanced with our hope. maybe this baby is okay. but it probably (doctor said 95% certainty) isn’t. + we had been looking forward to this ultrasound. with our “perfect baby” 2 weeks ago, we were pulled into a sort of false hope. today, we left the hospital numb. evelyn came with us to this appointment, to see “baby.” she’s been talking about the baby, she’s been snuggling my tummy. + + + + + #pregnancyloss #pregnancyafterloss #1in4 #miscarriage

it’s a family business ☕️ . . . . . #babygirl #babiesofinstagram #myformerbump #julybaby #1yearold #mommysgirl #momlife #motherhood #diariesofanewmom #awordonawhim #stayathomemom #workfromhomemom #pnwbaby #northwestbabe #browneyedbabe

sunny sunday morning ☀️ . . . . . #babygirl #babiesofinstagram #myformerbump #julybaby #1yearold #mommysgirl #momlife #motherhood #diariesofanewmom #awordonawhim #stayathomemom #workfromhomemom #pnwbaby #northwestbabe #browneyedbabe #urbancoffeelounge #kirkland #coffeeshopbabe

morning horse rides 🐎 . . . . . #babygirl #babiesofinstagram #myformerbump #julybaby #1yearold #mommysgirl #momlife #motherhood #diariesofanewmom #awordonawhim #stayathomemom #workfromhomemom #pnwbaby #northwestbabe #browneyedbabe #rockinghorse

happy halloween, from our little narwhal, and our tiniest narwhal makes its own appearance 👶🏼🤰🏼 . . . . . #babygirl #babiesofinstagram #myformerbump #julybaby #1yearold #mommysgirl #momlife #motherhood #diariesofanewmom #awordonawhim #stayathomemom #workfromhomemom #pnwbaby #northwestbabe #browneyedbabe #pregnant #junebaby

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